Does every couple develop a dialect/accent/language/voice of their own? Particularly babytalk? Is it necessary for lovers to speak to one another in babytalk in order for the other to understand? Do they think it disguises what they’re saying from others around them even though it’s a universal language?
I haven’t been in a relationship in a while and I can’t remember if my ex and I had a secret language. Yes, sometimes I spoke to him in a higher, goo-goo-ga-ga-ly pitch asking things like, “Do you really love me? Do you REAAAAAAAALLLLLLY love me? How much? THIS much? Okay okay, I wuv you tooo!” I’m exaggerating, but it seems like all couples have a special way of communicating such insecurities. But must we talk like babies to do so??
I have a friend who-shall-not-be-named who shares a special dialect of English/Irish/babytalk with her boyfriend that is mostly used, from my observations, when talking about their feelings. If their conversation transitions into something more serious, like about work and school, they use regular English. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a very cute accent they share, but I’m still curious as to why their voices digress to infant-hood when wishing each other good night?
Another friend who-shall-not-be-named seems to have permanently engaged babytalk. Her boyfriend has adapted to this language very well, and I dare say 75% of their conversations (at least around me) are spoken in this obnoxious pitch. To get in on the dialogue, I had to adjust the level of my own voice to match theirs. If this offers any explanation to the phenomenon, they are Chinese, and from what I’ve seen on Chinese television, babytalk is commonly used by young women.
In fact, the baby is so darn cute these days that adult women not only emulate them in speech, but also in habit. At a restaurant several weeks ago, my cousins and I were appalled to see a 20-something Chinese woman suck on a baby bottle!!!!! Filled with milk!! In public!!! All the while she was taking photos of herself with puckered lips and too much hair in her face. The woman sitting across from her, presumably her mother, was unmoved. My cousins and I, on the other hand, oh we were moved. We were moved by the way she couldn’t actually suck the milk out of the nipple so she unscrewed the top and sipped from the rim. She’s an adult after all!
It just occurred to me that my friends who have been in really long relationships – the married type and the soon-to-be married type – including my parents and my friends’ parents, do not break out in special languages/accents/dialects/babytalk with their partners. I wonder if it’s because they grow out of it, just like babies do? Or maybe because they master keeping it an actual secret? Or because couples who have been together for so long no longer need to express their feelings through absurd voices?
Like I said, I have not been in a relationship in a while and can’t remember what it’s like communicating with a lover. But I hope when the next boyfriend rolls along, we won’t confess our love for each other like overgrown babies. At least not in front of other people.
you big fat lazy beasts
cloaked in heavy suits of black and white
who hang from tree limbs like dislocated joints
who chew on bamboo like its animal flesh
who mosey around because thats your life
to represent your country because you’re its gem
protected and pampered like China’s sons
as others toil the earth and starve
but that’s not your concern
and we love you regardless
because we can.
If I could choose what to be in my next life, and this isn’t it already, I would be a panda bear. Why? Because they live the simple life: eat, sleep and play. They have little to worry about because everything is taken care of for them. They are like little princes, pampered from head to toe (although they could use a bath). They roll around in the food that they eat (did you know that they were carnivores centuries ago??). They get to hang with their homies all day, chewin’ on bamboo, hangin’ from trees, rollin’ down hills, spreadin’ out under the sun. They’re also incredibly lazy without a worry or care in the world. Some may argue that they lead unfortunate lives, trapped and exploited, but they are becoming extinct. And therefore need human protection! Anyway, if I could be a panda who didn’t know any better than the life I was living, I would be happy camper.
I fell in love with these great balls of fur when I visited them at the Giant Panda Breeding Research Base in Chengdu (I’ll tell you more about this trip later). Here are some photos for you to see so you can fall in love with them too. (Notice that the pandas and I have the same dark circles around our eyes..it’s a clear sign of our souls’ connection.)
Are they not just the most lovable, huggable, adorable living things on this planet?!
Warning: I’m about to get cheesy.
I just wanted to say how much I love, appreciate and admire the individuals I have met on WordPress. I never thought my blog would last this long, but my readers — strangers, friends and new friends — keep me at it, and I am so grateful to you all for keeping me company during this transitional phase in my life.
As I have complained again and again — and you’re probably sick of hearing it — making friends has been quite rough for me in China. However, coming home to my computer and finding new comments and “likes” demonstrates another kind of friendship that I used to doubt (gotta love the digital age!). Meeting people online has always sounded a little strange to me, but the WordPress community has proven me wrong. Knowing that people read and sometimes even care about what I have to say is so reassuring that 1), my life is actually pretty interesting (no matter how much I insist it isn’t), 2) I am still capable of making new friends in new places, and 3) there are so many good people in the world!
I realize this is very cheesy, and I get this way
sometimes a lot, but I’m going away for two weeks to celebrate Chinese New Years and Spring Festival in Chongqing where I expect to be internet-less. And the only thing that keeps running through my head is, How will I keep up with everyone’s blogs? How will I stay in contact with my WP friends? I’m going to miss them so much!! I know, I know. Only 2 weeks. Actually, less, just 10 days. But see!? That’s how inseparable I am with you all!
(My parents hate it because once I turn my computer on, that’s where I’m glued for the next several hours. I sacrifice the size of my bum for you all. That’s how much I love you.)
See you in 10 days! Until then,
and KISSES TO YOU ALL!!!
Tonight I went out for the first time in a while. It’s only 11:45 p.m. Beijing time, so you can imagine how unexciting it was, but it was a momentary high I’ve been lacking lately.
On the cab ride home, my friend and her boyfriend were “discussing” marriage in their drunken state. My friend, who I’m going to call Lucille, is my age–23. Lucille kept asking her boyfriend, 26, when he would take her hand in marriage so that she could finally stay out all night, or spend the night with him. I asked why she couldn’t move out of her parents’ house before marriage, but she only shook her head, “no.” I guess as modern as China is getting, many aspects of tradition are still intact–the role of women being among them.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve only been in a serious relationship once, and it ended horribly–HORRIBLY–the idea of marriage is as shocking to me as Brad Pitt leaving Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie (is that that shocking, actually? Angelina is prettier.). No, I think the idea of marriage is shocking because I’m still 23 and have so many things to accomplish before settling down with someone. There is no doubt that marriage works out for some people my age and I’m genuinely happy that soul mates exist, I just hope my soul mate doesn’t show up till I have more checked off my to-do list.
This past summer, a family friend suggested that I get married soon. I’m closing in on my mid-20’s but come on! I’ve barely grown out of the training bra of childhood! I’m still new to life and its complicated facets that bring heartache, love and disappointment, feelings that I’ve only just begun to experience! Heartache stinks and disappointment hurts, but I’m eager to know what it’s like so I can learn how to avoid it in the future. As for love, I’m still waiting for the next round.
I’m in no hurry, although being around Lucille and her boyfriend makes me wonder when my own loverboy is going to come around. Maybe springtime, the season for love. Or is that summertime? I can’t remember. Maybe it’s reversed in China, like the clock. Maybe love blooms in the wintertime in the east. Oooo that’s soon!
But like I said, there’s no hurry. For now, I’m patiently waiting, unexpecting (because things tend to happen when you’re least expecting. Funny and frustrating how life works.). Anyway, I’m going to sleep on these thoughts and leave you with a classic which I found quite fitting: